


The Truth Is...

by Senket



Series: Matrimonial Complexity [4]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Aliens Make Them Do It, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-05
Updated: 2010-12-05
Packaged: 2017-11-15 13:53:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/528017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Senket/pseuds/Senket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And it turns out they're actually married. Who knew. (Except Teyla, of course. Oh, and Ronon. Maybe Zelenka. And-)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Truth Is...

"You're stupid."

"No, you're stupid."

"Oh, that's clever," he replied, smirking, as though he'd somehow won the argument. "Very clever, there, John, I'm quite impr-HEY!" He reached for the jello cup his friend had stolen but John turned away, blocking with his back and jerking his elbows to keep Rodney away as he tore it open and went to smash it against his face.

"What- that's gross! And cheating! You owe me a cup! I'm-" and he realized John's was still on his plate, same flavor and everything. "Damnit! I hate you!" He snatched it away and ate it like a child, pouting and getting flecks of blue gelatin stuck to his cheek.

John snickered, despite the jello all over his chin and nose.

Sam Carter, who had frozen a few feet away when the fight had first started- and she could remember Rodney acting rude and childish but not like this- moved towards them very cautiously, staring at the two even as she sat down across from a completely unfazed Teyla.

"I can't seem to decide if they're more like an old married couple or the worst pair of brothers a mother could ask for."

Rodney huffed out something rude and incredulous, shooting John evil looks as he blamed the man for the entire incident.

John flashed a toothy jokester's grin at Rodney and turned to Sam, and in a voice far too loud, said: "Actually, we are married. On three different planets, even!"

"You swore you'd never mention that again!" Rodney screeched, high pitched and, to John, hilarious.

"You guys have to worst inside jokes," Sam told them with a put-upon groan.

"John is, in fact, telling the truth, Colonel," Teyla informed her with a sage smile. "On MX9-T21. The chieftain's tribe was unwilling to trade with us without one of the team's members marrying his only daughter."

"So we'd be part of the family," John injected helpfully, still smirking.

"Indeed. They are a very close-nit society."

"And in a fit of really terrible lying, Rodney said we couldn't, because we were gay for each other."

"Well, I couldn't pick Teyla, because they'd already decided that she was clearly with Ronon. Probably because they're both macho, tanned, leather-wearing beasts," he added, grumbling, glancing sideways at the perfectly serene-looking woman.

"So," John continued, eyes sparkling with mischief as he leaned forward to speak to Sam quietly, "apparently we could also be 'part of the family' if we shared with them our so-called 'wonderful union' by getting married in the village square."

"We were desperate for food at the time!" Rodney told her, pale-faced, eyes wide with mortification.

"He means booze!" John informed her cheerily.

"So… you two got hitched."

"Aliens made us do it!" The man answered gleefully, laughing when Rodney shot him a murderous glare, throwing the empty jello cup at his head.

"On three different planets…?"

"They are a seasonal tribe. During MX9-T21's monsoon season, they travel to a place they call 'Soriyana,' and during its dry season, to 'Aleshta.' They are only there during the short months between, where the rain has halted but the flora is still vibrant. We were lucky to have met with them."

"Hold on. I read that report. The Enastis, right? No mention of marriage, though," she chuckled.

"We figured we should keep it off the record, what with DADT and all," John winked.

"Well it's not off the record anymore, is it." Rodney grumbled.

"Doctor McKay," Sam said in a grand tone that was mockingly serious but gave herself away with the giggling lilt in her voice, "if I told you how many times members of SG1 accidentally or forcibly got hitched to others or each other, then…"

They all leaned forward (except Teyla) with various degrees of interest and morbid curiosity-

"Well," she said, looking a little flustered as she leaned back into her chair. "Actually. I'd have to make up a number. In 10 years, I sort of lost track. Anyway, who knows with all those times we were separated, too."

John had the decency to laugh at the way Rodney turned an odd shade of white-green instead of at Colonel Carter.


End file.
